Never Assume Unless Stated

May 23, 2018

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  Hi DJ Chloe!

  I hope all is well! Just call me Joyce for anonymity purposes. I had to message you in the hopes that you can give an advice on what is happening to my heart (figuratively) right now. Sorry if this one is super long. I have to vent out this one kasi. First let me give you a background of my life. I had been in a terrible and devastating breakup with my long term ex-boyfriend. It really made my heart broken because all along I thought siya na talaga ‘yung “the one ko.” He may not be my first boyfriend but for me he was my true and greatest love.

  I was depressed by then since maliit masyado yung “mundo” na ginagalawan naming. It was really hard for me to move on at first. I even deactivated all of my social media accounts and changed my number. I also had to cut my communication with my friends because it was hard for me to explain to them what happened to us. Depression really hit me hard and what made it worst is that all of that happened during holiday season last year. I felt that all people are happy except me. Gratefully, with the help of my few and selected friends and colleagues, I had gradually survived the break up and eventually stepped-out with the depression stage.

  Until this April, my life was turned upside down by this guy. Let’s just call him Mark for anonymity purposes. He was a friend of mine for a long time already. We don’t talk much before but we’re good. Maybe because we had our own partners during that time that’s why we don’t communicate that much. Not until last April that he messaged me. Some casual kamustahan and catching up until the topic of love life was brought up. We learned that we both just broke up with our ex-partners. We are both single and on the latter part of the moving-on process. Since in a travel and tours business, he invited me to join their tour. I don’t know put in a span of seconds napapayag niya ‘ko. For seven months na pagkukulong sa bahay and being not in a mood to go out and socialize had vanished from the point na niyaya niya ‘ko to go out of town. We also text each other more often and he even called me to just check on me.

  I know deep inside that there is something but I am also completely aware that it was too soon and too early to tell. During our trip out of town (which I really enjoyed because I also gain new friends through his other tourists), I had decided to get back to the social media world. I will confess that Mark helped me moved on. After the trip, we still had our constant communication and this time I know this is not just a friendly thing since we had our sweet nothings na. Until he asked me for a date. It was the usual one movie, dinner, and coffee. We acted as if kami – we hold hands, hugs me, and all the usual boyfriends would do. I know it’s too fast and shouldn’t be like that but I have to be honest, I think I had fallen. Thinking that there must be something good between us. It gave me so much hope. I think na baka siya na ‘yung binigay sa’kin ni God na the “right man” and sagot sa lahat ng bakit ko. Until the day came that he just vanished. Literally and figuratively. We should meet that one weekend and have our usual date. But HINDI NA SIYA NAGPARAMADAM. I was waiting whole day that day thinking he was just busy and all but he was not answering my calls. What makes it worst is that I CAN SEE THAT HE IS ONLINE IN HIS SOCIAL MEDIA ACCOUNTS. I tried to call, text, and PM-ed him pero wala. What should I do, DJ Chloe? I am really confused kasi I don’t know what’s in his mind? Sobrang naguguluhan ako kasi part of me knows that I am just being dumped and part of me believed that we have something and baka nabibilisan or naguguluhan lang siya. I don’t know what to feel right now really. Deep down I’m sad but I have to be strong because I don’t want another heart break again. I don’t want to get back to the miserable stage of my life. What to do, DJ Chloe? Please give me some advice and super thank you for finding time to read my story. All the best!

  -Joyce x

  Dear Joyce,

  “Thinking that there must be something good between us. It gave me so much hope. I think na baka siya na ‘yung binigay sa’kin ni God na the “right man” and sagot sa lahat ng bakit ko.”

  Never assume, unless stated, ‘di ba? The moment nagkaron ng exchange of sweet nothings, dates, mga galawang kayo na, dapat nagtanong ka na ng, “ano ba tayo?”

  If he is ignoring you, then ignore him as well. ‘Pagbumalik sa’yo tsaka mo tanungin ng ano ba kayo at ano ang purpose niya, mabuti ng may malinaw na usapan.

   

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