Not The Second Best

August 24, 2016

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  Hello, Chloe! I’ve always been a huge fan of your station since college pa ako. Kindly keep my identity na lang po sana. Just wanna share my story.

  I’m 27 already, single. I’ve never had a serious relationship. I mean never umabot ng isang taon. My last relationship was in high school pa but that wasn’t that serious. I mean, as they say puppy love lang siya. After then wala na, I’ve been single since then. I’ve never had my first kiss yet. Then suddenly, I met this guy last year. Let’s call him Mr. X. I was 26 back then. He was known for being “playboy”.

  So, I became friends with him. He added me on Facebook, we chat once a week. Then naging once a day tapos hanggng sa every minute na. Continuous ‘yun pero meron siyang ugali na ‘di ka na lang bigla papansinin ng ‘di mo alam ang dahilan.

  Then one day, a girl colleague of mine and I got some bonding moment. She opened up to me a guy who’s she’s in love with and also making her kilig and admitted na courting her. That guy is actually Mr. X. So I listened to everything that she said. At that time, wala pa naman akong nararamdaman kay Mr. X so nag-aadvice lang din ako sa colleague ko. Actually, nauna silang maging friends and nauna siyang “landiin” ni Mr. X. Then continuously nagsasabi sa’kin ‘yung colleague ko about the progress of their relationship. Sometimes sinusundo pa ni Mr. X si colleague na nandun ako.

  Then one day, inamin ko kay colleague na Mr. X is actually chatting me and telling me he likes me. So that time sabi ni colleague, she knew, nararamdaman daw niya. So I ask if she’s angry, sabi niya she’s not. Sabi ko is it okay na kilalanin ko si Mr. X, nothing serious. Sabi niya okay lang. So I did. Hanggang sa dumating ‘yung time na I feel jealous and nasasaktan na ako ‘pag naririnig ko silang magkausap sa phone. Pero binabalewala ko ‘yung feelings na ‘yun dahil alam kong wala namang pupuntahan. That time nagkaroon ng misunderstanding ‘yung colleague ko and Mr. X. So si Mr. X, balik na naman sa pagcha-chat sa’kin and nag-oopen na din ng about sa buhay niya at family. So I entertained. Dumating ‘yung days na nasanay na ako sa ganung setup, magcha-chat siya, magtetext, mangangamusta. Tapos biglang mawawala dahil kausap niya ‘yung colleague ko. Masakit na nu’ng time na ‘yun para sa akin. Pero naisip ko ‘di naman ako ang una niyang nakilala. So I let them.

  Nagkaroon ng time that our team went out for a drink. We had dinner, drinks, and we played truth or dare. So doon nag-umpisa lahat ng confrontation, aminan, between me and my colleague about Mr. X. Matapang pa ako na ipakita sa kanya ang mga messages sa’kin para mapatunayan lang na he is actually playing around the two of us. I can see the pain sa colleague ko while everything is actually being told. She said, she’s hurt but she doesn’t have any ill-feeling towards me. So we continued being friends and we started ignoring Mr. X. None of us talked to him anymore.

  But one day, in my case, he messaged me on chat again. I ignored it. Pero he keeps on repeating it day by day. So I replied na din pero in a cold way. Until sa naging comfortable na naman siya talking to me. Mas naging malalim pa ‘yung samahan namin this time. Pero sila ng colleague ko is no longer talking to each other. Nagkaroon din ng boyfriend kasi ‘yung collegue ko. So Mr. X and I returned to the way we were before. Until sa dinala niya ako sa bahay nila. And I actually discovered the biggest heartache of my life. The time na dinala niya ako sa kanila I found out that he is actually having a child to another girl, which is actually his girlfriend for two years. I don’t know, I had no idea, even my colleague. I was shocked that time habang nasa kanila ako, I am still in love with him kaya nasaktan ako noon. Nagmukha akong tanga noon pero I ignored the feeling. He even kissed me sa kanila (he was actually my first kiss).

  Kinabukasan, I confronted him. I asked him why did he bring me to their house kung magkakaanak na pala siya. He said “ayaw kasi kitang mawala, mahal na din kasi kita.” I know it was the biggest lie I’ve ever heard pero I believed him. I stayed with him pa. ‘Pag kailangan niya ako nasa tabi niya lang ako. Kahit sobrang sakit na sa part ko ang nangyayari. ‘Pag nakakakita ako ng mga post niya and his girlfriend about them and their child sobrang nasasaktan pa din ako. Maraming nagsabi sa’kin na tama na layuan ko na siya, pero matigas ang ulo ko. Until sa dumating ‘yung time na ako na talaga ang lumayo. We talked pa din sometimes. Nangangamusta siya and even telling me na dalawin ko ang anak niya sa kanila na nandun ‘yung asawa n’ya. ‘Yun ‘yung ‘di ko maintindihan sa kanya, why is he is still asking me to do that thing? Parang ‘di siya aware na nakasakit siya. ‘Pag iniignore ko ang messages niya, sa mga post ko nagco-comment siya ng galit. Parang ang labas eh ako pa ‘yung nakasakit. At my age, nap-pressure na din ako dahil I am still single, wala pa akong anak. Sabi ng iba late bloomer daw ako. Sometimes I am actually losing hope na will I ever find my Mr. Right? Hehe. Karamihan kasi ng mga nakikilala ko, paasa, tapos ‘yan playboy. Nakakasawa lang. Sana mabasa niyo po itong message ko. More power. Thank you.

  Hello!

  Of course you have all the chances in this world to find your Mr. Right!! How? You first allow yourself to be Miss Right for your future Mr. Right. And how to do that? Tigilan mo kahunghangan mo ate kay Mr. Playboy.

  Wala kang future d’yan. Mangyari baka maging next Mrs. Playboy ka, maanakan ka rin.

  Everything you do for him, being there, a shoulder to cry on, and all, wala siyang pakialam d’yan and don’t ever think he will ever be grateful for having you, for your time, for your presence, for your understanding of his situation. To him, you are just another chick wrapped around his tail! You and your friend and who knows who else!

  Ang haba ng sulat mo kaya I will make this short.

  You are young, you have a brain, you are single and you have all the chances in this world so please make the right choices in life.

  First right choice to make: leave Mr. Playboy alone. Now what if he doesn’t leave you alone?  Find another job and totally disappear from him. Everything is all up to you, my dear.

  ‘Wag kang mapressure sa sabi ng iba, para lang pumatol ka sa “pwede na.” You are so better than that.

  God Bless.

  

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