When You Say Sorry You Don’t Do It Again

October 8, 2016

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  Good afternoon, DJ Chloe!

  Kailangan ko ng payo mo especially now ang hirap at gulo ng isip ko. Married ako for 6 years, may isang anak na lalaki. Last May of 2015, marami na ako napansin na kakaiba sa asawa ko. Like hindi mabitaw-bitawan ‘yung cell phone. Magigising ako sa madaling araw busy siya with his cell phone. Then one time hidi ko sinasadya may pumasok na messages sa messenger niya. Girl ito at ang message ay “always take good care of yourself.” I asked him about it but ang sagot niya friend lang. So hindi ko na masyadong tinanong. Hanggang sa umabot sa punto na halos may gabi na hindi na siya umuuwi, without any text message tapos uuwi kinabukasan na parang wala lang. Hanggang dumating sa punto na nagpatong-pataong na lahat. Nag-antay ako for almost two hours kung saan ako susunduin tapos hindi siya dumating. So what I did, umuwi na lang ako. Pagdating ko sa bahay wala siya dun. After an hour dumating at parang walang nangyari telling me pa na ang tagal-tagal daw niya ako hinintay. Tinatawagan ko phone niya naka-off that time. Sabi ko umalis na lang muna siya, so umalis nga. June to December 2015, hinayaan ko siya. Bumalik siya sa’min ng anak ko January 2016 asking me for last chance. So tinanggap ko siya ulit sa buhay namin. Akala ko okay na lahat kasi wala na kami pinagtatalunan until September 2016, may nagsend sa messenger ko ng photos and may hawak siya na bata. Eight months old ‘yung bata at lalaki. Wala daw other intention ‘yung girl kundi to inform me na ito ang asawa ko, may dapat ako malaman. So I talked to him asking why? Lahat ng hinala ko last year totoo and ‘yung girl naalala ko ‘yun yung girl na nagmessage sa kanya. Wala na daw sila tsaka malinaw na hindi sa kanya ‘yung bata, ang KAPAL ng mukha. Last night hiniram ko ‘yung phone niya, nakita ko photos nu’ng same girl. DJ Chloe, ano po ba ang dapat ko gawin? Half ng isip ko telling me to give up, half para sa anak na lang namin. Gulong-gulo ng isip ko po. Please, help me. Thank you.

  Joya

  Dear Joya,

  Pinaalis mo na, tinanggap mo pa? Well, I can’t blame you. Mahal mo asawa mo eh or maybe because of your child, which happens to be the most convenient excuses, ‘di ba? Come to think of it baka naman hindi sinabi ng anak mo na tanggapin mo ulit, just saying.

  You know, you feel bad about something you, yourself allowed to happen or tinolerate mo. It actually happened right before your eyes but you didn’t do something about it.

  Praning na kung praning but the signs were all there for you to see! But you did nothing! Una pa lang na duda ka na sinita mo na dapat and nagwarning ka na. That this is what I will do, “should I catch you doing this to me…”

  You, yourself said it, lahat ng hinala  mo last year totoo. So what did you do about it? Naghinala ka lang ng naghinala?

  Alam mo you can only do two things…

  1. Accept him and keep up with his being a pig, punish the other woman by making it known to her that you are the wife and by all means your husband stays with you… (na parang ang gwapo ng asawa mo)

  2. Let go of him and let him do what he wants with his life. Sinira niya na buhay niya nang mag-anak na siya sa ibang babae while being a father to your child and a husband to you. Now it’s up to you if you want him to ruin your life too by making you feel miserable every day.

  Dalawa lang naman lagi ang solusyun, tiisin mo at panindigan mo ang asawa mo bilang asawa niya o ipamigay na siya at hayaan siya sa gusto niya.

  Mga lalaki kaya namimihasa kasi pinapatawad palagi. Okay lang patawarin pero ‘pag tinaggap mo ulit siguradong uulit ‘yan. Bakit? Alam niyan, konting paawa, pangako na ‘di na uulit, na isang chance na lang. At alam niyan “I’m sorry” lang ang katapat mo. Well, I’m not saying that saying I’m sorry is bad and it doesn’t mean anything. But a real apology is a changed attitude.

  

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