Single And Happy Is The Mantra

September 25, 2017

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  Hi, DJ Chloe!

  First of all, thank you for being honest with your advices. Before, whenever I get stuck in traffic listening to the radio and hearing people share their problems on-air I would think “why would anyone ask a stranger for advice and have it broadcasted for everyone to hear?” I never thought that I would also be in a position where I’m so desperate for help. My friends tell me that I have a tendency to fall for guys who have issues; that I “enjoy” fixing other people’s problems. Sabi nga nila sa’kin “stop being a mom”. My last ex had his share of personal issues. He was incredibly honest about his sadness when we got to know each other. He told me about his past relationships, his family, his stressful job, etc. being the listener that I was, I really tried to help him. I supported his ideas and plans all the way; always reminded him about the good things about him. Always trying to keep a positive perspective on things. And he would tell me how grateful he was that I always believed in him. It went on for almost three years. I witnessed how much he has grown.

  And how happy he has become. I was so proud of him. Honestly, I still am. I guess I always will be proud of him. DJ Chloe, I’m actually still sour that something so good had to end. Some years ago I had a bout with depression. I stopped going out. I slept a lot. It was like I gave up on everything about life. I still think about it until this day na was I wrong to pour all my depressed thoughts to my then boyfriend? Masyado ba kong naging toxic? Sinabi niya noon na gusto niya lang akong tumawa pero parang napaka hirap na. When he ended our relationship I was in a blank state. It’s like I forgot how to feel.

  Sabi ko lang “Okay”. I don’t know, DJ Chloe, if I’m explaining myself enough, I don’t know how to describe depression. I don’t even want to say that word, let alone twice in a paragraph. Dumaan din ako sa stage na gusto ko syang i-remind na I’ve always been there for him, bakit sa time of need ko hindi niya ko kayang tulungan. Pero kahit noon pa lang alam ko kung gano ka-toxic ang state ko. Na kahit ako pagod na pagod na sa self ko. Kaya I had to let him go. I’ve never loved anyone else since then. While sya naman, I know he’s happy with someone else. Hindi ko alam bakit he holds such a huge portion of my heart. Na parang gusto kong ipaalam sa kanya na “hey, I’m ok now.” Pero inisip ko rin na if I also matter as much to him, after all those times dapat siya na mismo ang nagtanong sa’kin if I’m ok. I hope as I send this to you, DJ Chloe, I’ll close that part of my life na and start opening my heart again to someone else.

  Thank you for your time.

  Anonymous

  Hi Girl!

  Baka naman hindi “someone else” ang kailangan mo for your depression. Or maybe, yes, you need someone else, someone not just an ordinary “else” but someone up Above.

  You have been very nurturing in the past. A trait almost all mothers have. Ang maging nurturing sa mga anak nila kaya nga sabi ng friends mo, ‘di ba? Stop being a mother to your guy. Minsan isang malaking pagkakamali ang maging sobrang nurturing sa mga lalaki. Anything naman na sobra hindi maganda.

  Tama naman sila, stop being a mom. Inherent naman sa mga babae ang ganyang trait, na over do mo lang yata.

  The thing about you, you expect to be given the same attention you give. Hence sabi mo nga  “ bakit sa time of need ko hindi niya ko kayang tulungan.”

  Kasi alam mo girl, madalas ang tutulong lang talaga sa sarili mo ay ikaw.

  You don’t expect anyone to be there for you always. Walang ganun. Diyos lang ang laging nandyan.

  I’m not sure if I’m making sense to you right now. But really, try God. Try Jesus, and you’ll never go wrong. Ask for His help to get to the bottom of your depression.

  Depression is a silent killer you know.  Bakit ka nga ba depressed/ saan ba ‘to nagsimula? Ano ba kinakadepressan mo? Get to the bottom of it, because if you don’t, you wouldn’t know how to address it.

  Bata ka pa hija, marami ka pang pagdadaanan sa buhay mo. In the future, who knows, you will also be a “mother”. Mas marami kang pwedeng pagdaanan na ikakasira ng ulo mo, bilang asawa, bilang ina, paano na ang mga anak mo kung lok-lokahan ka? Hindi pwede ang ganyang depress depress, neng, pag may pamilya ka na.

  But anyways, ‘di ka pa naman siguro magpapamilya in the next five years. What I’m trying to say is maybe you need to see the real life. Volunteer more, help people who needs help and those people who can’t repay you. Isang magandang gamot sa depression ‘yan.

  It will make you realize that you’re lucky you don’t have the troubles of other people.

  Depressed ka sa ‘di malaman na dahilan. Ang ibang tao kakainin pa lang isang malaking suliranin na araw-araw.

  Akala natin gamot sa lungkot ang may kasama ka sa buhay? Mali. Kailangan maging masaya ka munang mag-isa para hind maging isang necessity ang pagkakaron ng kasama sa buhay.

  

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