The Loyalty Testing

May 27, 2016

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  Hi Chloe!

  I’m an avid reader of Chloe’s Inbox from your Facebook page and those stories posted inspired me to share my story.

  Call me Owen, 30 years old. I’ve been married for four years now with two kids. 2011, I met her online thru a site where I got her number and we’ve been texting ever since. I got a girlfriend for a year back then and I decided to dump her for this new girl who is now my wife. I really loved her, and I even decided to marry her even if she was left by her boyfriend when he got her pregnant. Long story short, I became the father of her child. After the child was born, I thought everything would be okay but I found out that she’s texting a lot of men. When I caught her she immediately cut the sim card in half and blamed me because she’s at home feeling lonely taking care of the child. I forgave her and we made up. Almost a year after, I lost my full-time job, and I decide to do part-time jobs just to make ends meet. I tried doing everything I can but to no avail. Both of our parents tried to support us and until now we’re still living with her parents.

  Fast forward to last year, she gave birth to our own child. Even though life is hard and I’m still doing part-time work, I still make ends meet with tighter budgets because of the new baby. Problems arise from time to time and she got pissed from it and told me she’s tired of waiting for me to get a permanent job. So she stood up and got a job instead. The problem is every night before we go to sleep I always see her chatting with someone else. But when I try to check her phone I didn’t see any conversation log. She even use another browser to hide her Internet activities from me (I found them on the data usage setting).

  Two nights ago, I tried to check her phone again, only to find a separate Facebook account inaccessible with a password (obviously her passwords that I know won’t work). I tried searching for it using my profile then I saw a big surprise: she got a dummy account. What’s more surprising is the fact that she stated “single” on the status info. I tried confronting her last night and I eventually learned everything. She’s cheating on me since March this year and she blamed me for everything: my inability to support her and the kids properly and my incompetence. She told me that it won’t happen if I tried to make her feel comfortable enough unlike today.

  I know it’s a bit harsh but I know you’ll blame me, Chloe, for everything that happened to us, but what I need now is a good suggestion on what can I ultimately do to get her back.
  Sorry for the long post.

  Thank you.

  Dear Owen,

  I’ll tell you some awful truth about us women. Maraming klase ang babae. May matiisin, may gagawa ng diskarte, may low maintenance, may high maintenance, may tahimik, may maingay. Maraming klase. Maraming uri ng babae sa mundo but you’ll be able to measure or know a woman’s loyalty when her man has nothing. I also cannot blame women for leaving their men when they can’t seem to make both ends meet. Money is the great enabler as I always say. And love is never enough to sustain a family. It flies out of the window when you can’t buy food. You can’t pay the bills and you can’t send the kids to school. I admire you for still wanting her, wanting to keep her in spite and despite of. Maybe having much money will make her stay. Maybe not. How much money do you actually need to keep her? That is something you have to consider. Maraming may pera pero hindi masaya. Naranasan ko na ang meron pero semplang ang relasyon ko sa dami ng bisyo ng kasama ko. A man’s loyalty and character is tested when he has everything you know. Naranasan ko na ang wala pero semplang pa rin kasi mag-aaway at mag-aaway kayo dahil wala kayong pera parehas and not having money is really stressful. Umaga pa lang kailangan mo na magkape at magpandesal. Pa’no kung walang pambili?

  A marriage or a relationship should have a balance of everything for it to thrive and survive and that is something you have to ask for everyday in prayers. Mapera ka ba dati? Kung mapera ka at panay pa rin ang paglalandi niya, malandi talaga siya. And not even having all the money in the world can cure that. You said in your letter “I have to make her comfortable enough.” How comfortable? And again, how much money do you actually need to keep her happy? At the end of the day it’s a question of character, Owen. Maybe a woman can leave you for not giving her a comfortable life. But a real woman with character and who has real love for you will try her best to help you, to inspire you enough to strive for your family. She will also help you make both ends meet. Now after she has done that and still you remain the same maybe you have to check on yourself. Marami kasing lalaking nagiging kampante sa buhay lalo kapag nakakuha ng babaeng marunong dumiskarte sa buhay. If you know what I mean….

  

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