When You Hear The Lies

October 27, 2017

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  Hello DJ Chloe,

  I am an avid listener of Easy rock and I love listening to Chloe’s Inbox during lunch break at work. I was debating with myself if I should write you but I guess I could use your word of advice on my situation. Medyo mahaba pero here it goes.

  I have been married for almost 22 years and have two kids. My son is a college graduate, while my daughter is in high school. I have work and my husband has a small business. My problem is my husband who have been keeping something from me for the past 12 years.

  Although he denies it every time I confront him. I know sa sabihin mo ang tanga naman nito, pinatagal ko pa. Back in 2007, he worked in a company and started getting close to their HR manager. I investigated and I caught him staying with her. I threw him out of the house and for a month Hindi siya umuwi. My children were young then, and so I had to work to support us. Double shifts sa work just so I can pay our amortizations, bills etc. He came back after awhile, at first, I don’t want to accept him na. But for the kids’ sake pinatawad ko at pilit kong kinakalimutan ginawa niya. The issue is umuuwi na siya sa amin but from Monday to Saturday nasa Manila siya and managing his business. I have no idea where he stays and with whom. May shop daw siya but he never told me where kasi baka daw manggulo ako. For so long I kept up with him but now that my children are grown up I’m beginning to question my decision and whether I should just ignore that we are dysfunctional or I walk out na lang. My children adore him kasi he provides them their wants, while I’m the kontrabida. I feel that I need to leave them and live on my own na lang just to maintain my sanity. Thank you, DJ Chloe.

  Please hide me under the name Venus.

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  Things like that happen, Venus. Sometimes, the kids think it’s your fault, since nga naman naibibigay ng ama ang kanilang wants. At ikaw eh kontrabidang ‘di makaintindi at hindi “cool”. In that aspect, I feel you, hahahaha.

  But it’s okay, time will come, your children will get to realize and find out what is really going on and what kind of family and father they have.

  It is very disrespectful of your husband to keep things from you. And to even have an affair with the HR Manager if indeed he is having an affair. Siguro sana hindi mo na lang tinanggap. But then again, “for the sake of the kids.” So now ask yourself, was it all worth it? “For the sake of the kids”?

  Ngayon, ikaw ang nagkakaproblema, ikaw ang nahihirapan, ikaw ang kontrabida.

  Leave your husband but don’t leave your kids. Once and for all, magdesisyon ka. It’s either you stay with him for the “kids’ sake” and for “marriage sake”, or decide to leave him, get a place of your own and since the kids are grown, explain to them the real deal.

  If they love you they will understand you, just don’t be too dramatic about it.

  Do your best to find out what you need to find out, para whatever decisions you come up with, you have reasons and you have proofs, hindi dahil akala o duda mo lang.

  

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