You’ll Hold On For The People You Love

May 10, 2016

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  Dear DJ Chloe,

  I am married for 20 years now and we don’t have a child. Okay naman kami kahit wala kaming anak. Hindi man kami nagkaanak pero magkasama pa rin kami. People said that I was lucky dahil naiiba ang husband ko sa ibang lalaki. And kahit wala kaming anak, he’s responsible enough like a true father because he’s working and even giving me money kahit nagtatrabaho din ako. Although, hindi malaki ang income, at least he tries his best.

  Perfect na sana for the two of us but there is one problem na nakapagitan sa amin. He’s using drugs.

  Pero sa tagal ng panahon na pagkakaalam ko na gumagamit siya, hindi ko pa siya nahuhuli kahit minsan sa akto. Ang tanging ebidensya ko lang ay ang mga naiiwan niyang pinaggamitan na hindi ko rin sigurado kung sa kanya nga o sa mga bad influence friends niya. And the time na ngpatest siya ay nagpositive ang result and twice na nagpositive. Humingi siya ng chance na aalisin niya sa sistema niya and I gave him a chance, a lot of chance dahil laging issue sa’min ‘yun. But even though he’s a user, he is not an addict yet. Lahat ng tao nagsasabi na ang drug user ay sila ‘yung mga gumagawa ng kasamaan, pumapatay, nananakit, nagnanakaw at lahat na ng kasamaan. Lagi kong naririnig sa tuwing may mga krimen o kahit sa aksidente sa daan, sasabihin ng mga tao, “drug user kasi kaya gumawa ng masama.” Pero kabaligtaran ang sa husband ko. napakabait niya and kahit kailan hindi niya ko napagbuhatan kahit nasasaktan ko na siya pag nagtatalo kami sa bagay na ‘yun. Ang hihingin ko sanang advice, everytime na hihingi ng chance ang husband ko, lagi ko bang ibibigay sa kanya ang chance? And hanggang kailan ba siya hihingi ng chance? Thanks, DJ Chloe. More power and God bless! I know hindi naman marereveal ang identity namin so I have nothing to worry. Thanks again.

  Worried Wife

  Hi, Miss Worried Wife!

  I don’t really know why some people are not able to move on from their vices. ‘Yung iba tumatanda na pero may bisyo pa rin. Some people outgrow it and consider it as just a phase in life that they have to go through–part of growing up. But some get hooked and it becomes part of their system.

  Actually, naaawa ako sa asawa mo. You don’t need to leave him especially if he doesn’t hurt you naman. Well let’s not wait that will. But as a wife it is also your duty to ensure that he becomes well and overcomes his addiction.

  Talking to him can also help, tell him it is bothering you a lot, ask him also if he wants help so that both of you can deal with it.

  And if things don’t change then you might consider separation. I think drug addiction is one ground for annulment.

  But before you do anything, please, exhaust all your efforts into helping him out because I believe help is what he needs.

  Sincerely,

  Chloe

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