Your Boyfriend Is Not Useless

January 28, 2016

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  Dear DJ Chloe,

  I had a twelve-year relationship that ended up with no closure. I was betrayed and cheated twice. The first one was way back 2012. I remember during those months we were having relationship struggles. We always argue and end up not talking for days. During those days I keep asking myself why we’re like that. I was even begging for his attention. I love him so much that I can’t imagine my life without him. Then one day there was a strong proof of his affair to that girl and I confronted him and he eventually admitted it. He confessed that they were together for the last eight months. He told me that he’s doing it for fun and to prove that he also can do it just like his colleagues. I asked myself if I can still forgive him after everything; and I did. I know if you read this part tataas ang kilay mo. Hehehe! He tried to prove naman na ako talaga ‘yung mahal niya. He broke up with that girl and transferred to another work.

  He is a sweet guy and he loves his mother so much so I assume that he’ll do the same to me. Alam ko din naman na once trust is destroyed hindi na ‘yun katulad ng dati. I admit that there were times na naghihinala ako lalo na kung ang mga workmates niya ay may mga asawa na. But then I didn’t tell him those feeling because I believe na he’s already changed for the better. Until last year there was a bad feeling inside me when I saw one of his colleagues. I tried to ask him about that girl and he told me that my asawa’t anak na ‘yun kaso hiwalay sa asawa. Then I asked what can he say about her. He annoyingly replied “what do you mean? she’s nothing to worry about.” So ako naman si tanga naniwala. But after that conversation everything has changed! Days after that he lost his loved one and asked for space. His reason was he needs to know his self more. I thought he’s doing that to mourn on his own. Actually I stayed pa rin naman sa tabi niya kasi alam kong kailangan niya ng kasama at tulong para malagpasan ang pagdadalamhati niya. But he kept on pushing me away. A week later without seeing or hearing anything about him, I texted him and ask one last time, “hanggang kailan mo ako balak pag-antayin?” He replied, “kapag alam ko na sa sarili ko hindi na kita masasaktan. Sana maantay mo ako.” I said, “you know how much I love you but I can’t destroy myself waiting for you forever.” He didn’t reply after.

  After that he blocked me in all his social media accounts, not knowing I saw everything I need to see–nn evidence of his affair to that girl. It hurts me so much that he’s doing it again. Then I began to ask myself, “do I really deserve this kind of guy? Does he really love me? Do I need to trust him one more time? Am I going to be miserable with him again? It’s been 12 years and we’re on our marrying stage but why did he did it again?

  As much as I want to take revenge and destroy them, I just kept myself calm and ask for God guidance and peace of mind. I avoid our common friends and his family. I just want to divert my attention to something more productive like knowing God’s words and now I know why we are separated.

  Maybe it’s God’s way of saying he’s not the one. And I must keep myself strong because someday someone will treat and love me the way I should be.

  I’m sharing my story not to seek vengeance to my ex or to gain sympathy. I’m sharing it to tell everyone that if this happens to you, there are two things that you need to trust: (1) your instincts; and (2) God.

  Pray for your anxiety to God and he will never let you down. As James 4:8 said “Come near to God, and he will come near to you.” Thank you again and God bless always!

  Miss E

  Dear Miss E,

  Congratulations for getting yourself out of a hopeless pathetic man who cheats on you all the time; and who treats women, specially married women, like a piece of trophy he can put on his shelf! And I pity these women who makes patol naman. You know why some men opt to have an affair with a married woman? Kasi “safe” daw sila. No need for contraceptives because if he gets her pregnant may asawa si babae na sasagot sa anak niya. Sick and pathetic, right? But that’s the truth. He doesn’t need to find himself. And if in case he needs to, pablotter mo sa police–missing person, kalokohan niyan!!! Alam niya gusto niya, alam niya ginagawa niya. Hiyang siya sa buhay na kabastusan. Sana one of these days mabuking siya ng asawa ng babaeng karelasyon niya nang manghiram siya ng mukha sa aso. Worst, maputulan siya. Consider yourself lucky for having the courage to let go of someone who doesn’t even deserve a spot in your life. Now, be ready for the right person to come. Forget him, flush his memory in the toilet just like what you do every day. :)

  Sincerely,
  Chloe

   

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