Your Happiness Matters

November 7, 2016

• 

  Hello DJ Chloe!

  I love the way you give advices and I was dreaming that you will also give me an advice. You may call me Bianca. I started working at 20 and my boss who is 50 years old fell in love me. He is divorced (foreigner) and we have been together for almost five years now, so I am 24 and he is 55. I worked hard for him from one staff we have 60 staff now. I am sorry if I have to keep our company’s name. My boss and I did not inform our staff about our relationship since we don’t think it is necessary. At work, we are professionals and at home we are life partners. Everything is okay, his family knows me and took a good care of me while my parents are not living with us. I was a very jealous girlfriend because all my workers are young, pretty women and I have seen some approaching him and I know many are interested in him because he is very rich.

  I love him with all my heart and I worked hard for him, I am not the typical girl who depends on my rich boyfriend for a living. I never asked money from him. I have my own salary. And I buy things from it. I have this particular girl that I am very jealous of because I know my boss is interested in her and I can site some examples, haha. We always fight because of her. She has been working with us for two years and one day (I’m crying now) my boyfriend came from a business trip, I saw a basic mobile in his bag and I found out that he was sending messages to that staff. The last message was “I will miss you.” I was totally devastated and it was the most painful moment of life. I hit my head and I will never forget the pain, it happened last March 2016. They don’t have relationship and it was just my boyfriend approaching her and I did not fire her because it was not her fault. I never thought that my boyfriend will do this to me. I gave up everything for him. I cannot live without him so I forgave him. And now, I am not happy anymore, I love him but I am not happy. Whenever I see her I feel so ugly and I lost my confidence already. My boyfriend used to tell me that I am too good for him because I was young, beautiful, and smart but I don’t know what happened. We are always fighting because I cannot trust him anymore. He asked me to get married next year, I agreed but I am scared that it might happen again and I always worried that I am just wasting my time with him. I still love him but we have been fighting almost every day because I kept on reminding him that he cheated on me, I was very mad at him. I am trying to be the best girlfriend and forget the past but I don’t know why I cannot trust him and I always think I am not enough for him. Every day, I cry whenever I remember what happened. Please let me know if I should trust my boyfriend again. Looking forward to your response. Take Care and have a great day!

  Bianca

  “I never thought that my boyfriend will do this to me. I gave up everything for him.”

  Bianca, funny how the people you’d take the bullet for are the ones behind the trigger, right?

  Giving up everything for him doesn’t mean he’d give up everything for you, too. Sad but true.

  I seriously don’t understand why he opted not to let your staff know that you and him are together. I think that’s a red flag. Yes, it may not be necessary but I think making it known to everyone that it’s the two of you, I also don’t see anything wrong with it. It may not be necessary but it’s also something that should not be ignored. You are together, partners in real life. Why would you not want to let anyone know about it? Unless you have something else in mind? Or maybe you’re not proud of what you have and what you’re doing? And again for the sake of not being called biased, maybe you can find out for yourself, or talk to him so he tells you why he is behaving that way? Maybe you need to check on yourself. Bumaho ka ba? Tumaba ka ba? Pumangit ka ba? Naging nagger ka ba? Sometimes you know. Stupid people think it’s your fault.

  Bianca don’t ever think he owes you something, you did everything for him voluntarily because you love him, right? Yes, we all expect reciprocity, that’s human, but what can you actually do if what you gave and what you did is not reciprocated? Wala ka magagawa, ‘di ba? So give because you want to give and love without conditions because that’s what loving is really all about.

  Bianca,  for as long as you are hurting, there is no way you can forgive more so forget.

  Acknowledge the pain and be true to yourself.

  Marrying him doesn’t guarantee things will change, marriage don’t change people.

  I cannot tell you what’s good for you. I cannot tell you what you need to do. But one thing I can tell you is this, NOTHING IS WORTH IT, IF YOU AREN’T HAPPY.

  He said it himself, you are young, beautiful, and smart. You in fact was a big proponent in making his company big, you started scratch with him. You have what it takes to make it on your own.

  He may be rich but you can also be rich, bata ka pa. Marmi pang pwedeng mangyari sa’yo.

  You may not end up with someone like him if you choose to let him go. But one thing I know, there is no way he can also find someone like you. A woman who doesn’t need a man to provide for him, because she can very much provide for herself, is the most beautiful…for me.

  You have an edge over the other girl but it’s cheap to compete. And if your man makes you feel you need to compete by all means, drop him.

  Sometimes when you do not know where you stand in someone else’s life, step back and see if he tries to pull you back to him, if not then you know the answer.

  You said you’re not happy anymore, so I’ll say this again, NOTHING IS WORTH IT, IF YOU AREN’T HAPPY.

  

• COMMENTS