Yourself Matters First

August 4, 2016

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  Hi DJ Chloe!

  Please hide my real identity. I’m 25 years old. Currently, magulo ang relationship ko with my live in partner. We have a one year old son. Nagsasama na kami for almost 3 years, 6 years in a relationship. Madalas away. Mas madalas tampuhan kaysa okay kami. Natitiis ko kasi mahal ko. Kaso lately, umaabot din pala sa point na mapapagod tayo sa lahat ng away. Magsasawa tayo sa mga tampuhan. Selos most of the time. Ino-open ko naman sa kanya ‘yun. Kaso nakakainis lang na parang lalo pa n’ya kong inaasar. Kahit alam n’yang nagseselos na ‘ko lapit pa rin siya ng lapit sa girl. Kahit alam n’yang ayaw kong umiinom siya, inom pa rin siya ng inom. Then lately, we had a talk. I asked him if we can get married since lumalaki na nga si baby. Then he admitted na wala siyang balak magpakasal. Na gusto niya lang daw binata siya hanggang tumanda. Sobrang nasaktan ako. So umalis ako sa bahay nila kasama ang baby ko. Kinausap ako ng parents niya na kung pwede ayusin daw namin pagsasama namin. But he’s not doing any action. Wala kaming communication since last week na umalis ako. Sa ngayon, ayaw ko na po talagang bumalik sa kanya. Pero sobrang nahihiya po ako sa family niya. Naaawa din po ako sa anak ko kasi lagi siyang hinahanap. I’m from a broken family kaya hangga’t maaari ayaw ko rin lumaki na kagaya ko ang anak ko. I don’t know what to do. Badly need your advice.

  Thank you in advance.

  Kayla

  Hi Kayla!

  You choose, stay with him and wait for the time na magbago siya (which I don’t think will happen anytime soon) or have a life! And by that I mean be on your own, happy and with no problems like this.

  His parents insists that you go back and fix everything with him but he shows no effort?  Sino ba ang pakikisamahan mo? Sila?

  You worry for your child growing up in a set up you cannot take, why? Will you be depriving your child of his or her father? Hindi naman siguro, ‘di ba? Can he not be a father? Kailangan ba magkasama kayo para maging ama siya?

  I am under the impression na bata pa ang boyfriend at tatay ng anak mo. Alam mo may alam ako, 50 anyos na pero buhay binata pa rin. Naugatan na. Ang maturity ng tao wala sa edad pero you really cannot expect any maturity or sense of responsibility sa lalaki at his 20s. Ang isip niyan, inom, babae, good time, motor, kotse, party-party, barkada.

  Malaking sakripisyo para sa’yo if you will stick with him , you will literally waste your own youth waiting for him to give you value when you can very much give yourself the value you deserve. Because you know what, before a man values you you first should give value to yourself! You’re young, only 25. Don’t allow yourself to revolve only around this guy. Yes, you came from a broken family, so what? You can’t change that anymore. And that my dear does not even define your future. Your future lies in your own hands and your own decisions.

  A mother and a child is also a family. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a father, a mother, and a child. Sometimes shit and hell happens and we just deal with it…and forget the drama.

  

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