Just Because I Am “Too Much” Doesn’t Mean I Need Much

Adi Miguel

December 6, 2016

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  “You’re just too much. Too much work. Too much of your dreams.”

  “You deserve someone better. Someone who will has the same level of career as yours. It’s not me.”

  Are these lines familiar to you? Have you heard them? Or have you said them to someone?

  Have you told someone that they are “too much” or have someone told you that you are “too much”?

  Too much because of your aspirations in life. Too much because of the dreams that you hold in your hands and in your heart. Too much because of the goals you set and the standards that you have met or sometimes exceeded. Too much. Just too much. You are too much on career and everything that you attain that people think that you’re also too much over all.

  Just because you have met and exceeded high standards, just because you are more than enough, people thinks that you are difficult to love because you also need too much. They think that you also love too much, give too much, that whatever they give won’t be enough to fill the love that you need. Have you been there? Were you too much? Have you heard someone say, “ang hirap mo namang mahalin”?

  Yes, you might be too much. But they didn’t know that being too much is who you really are. That “too much” is what you only have and it matters to you. Your goals, your aspirations, your dreams, you want to hold them all together. You don’t want to stop until you have touched them with your own skin. And there’s nothing wrong with it.

  Because they also have to know that despite all these standards you have met and exceeded, you have shallow wants. You also want random kisses on the forehead. Behind all the things your hands can create, you also want snuggles on bed-weather mornings. You also want a day without taking a bath and just rolling around your bed while reading an unfinished book. That after a long day at the office, you also cry because you’re tired and you also want to stop but you know that it’s not always the answer. They don’t know that you are also going through heartbreaks and heartaches. They don’t know that sometimes you are not also strong, that sometimes you want a tight hug and an absorber of everything that makes you teary-eyed. No one knows what you went through inside that meeting room. They don’t know that even if you all have these success in your hands, all you want when you get home and just put on a loose shirt and get a cup of coffee.

  You’re too much in your work, in your goals, in your dreams, but you know deep inside that you just have little needs. You know that you’re not a high-maintenance person. That you’ll live by with anything that you want. It’s just that you have goals and you have set standards but that doesn’t mean it requires a lot to love you. It doesn’t mean that you can’t adjust just because people adjusts for you. It doesn’t mean that you are looking for perfect. You’re too much with what you want. But you’re not too much when it comes to love.

  You’re just like many. You just want someone to be with in good times and in bad. Someone who won’t look at you and the position you have or the amount of money you have in your bank account. You just really want someone who won’t look at you as “too much.” Because you are really not.

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