#RelationshipGoals or #RelationshipRules?

Stephanie Palpallatoc, Intern

March 28, 2017

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  We can’t deny how #RelationshipGoals are taking place in our everyday lives.  We can see it everywhere from Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Tumblr. Unrealistic scenarios usually escort the phrase; a boyfriend leaving a bouquet of flowers outside a girlfriend’s room, or a boy proposing in front of hundreds of crowds, and other things that make other people shiver and quote as “Relationship Goals”.

  Although this can be sweet and happens to some people, they are creating unrealistic expectations from our behalf that isn’t helpful for our relationship. Because #RelationshipGoals often highlight what the other person can do for us, instead of focusing on the person per se. And even if we deny it, we know for a fact that the phrase is changing how we perceive acceptable and worthwhile relationship.

  Throughout the time, the phrase has been related to certain standards of expected bonding or materials given to each other in a relationship. It came to the point where love is about what he/she can offer you, instead of being there for you.  Looking forward for the next #travelgoals rather than focusing on how you will have a real conversation together. It’s not about getting quality time together anymore, but rather, how good pictures you can get to post online that you can caption #RelationshipGoals.

  Love are often bounded with mindsets that if a person really loves you, he/she would post pictures of you or write sweet messages for you. It became a standard of how we define love. We get jealous when we see posts and pictures of other couples together and thus, we expect our partner to do the same. Although we are not asking our partner to do similar for us directly, it’s already expected from them.

  If they fail to post something nice towards us in social media, we feel worthless about ourselves. If they are different from the people who we look up to towards “Relationship Goals,” we feel like they don’t love us as that much. Even the personal messages between us and our partners are being opened online to show to other people how sweet we are and our other half.

  We are so consumed by expectations from the society, that if we break one rule of it, everyone will think bad about us. We are coming to a point where the likes, shares, and good comments are the things that we value more than the relationship. We put too much effort in defining what love should be, instead of what genuine love is. We strive too much to be in trend and be famous around other people to feel good about ourselves. But we are not aware that we are actually injuring the true meaning of love. We are putting too much standards towards our partner that we don’t realize that we are only playing the game of the rising “social expectations,” but not the game of love.

  We are so full of “we should be this…” and “we shouldn’t be like this…” but the question is, “are you happy?” If your partner buys you expensive gifts and take you to luxurious places, does it make you genuinely happy? Or does it only make us feel good but aren’t really making us happy?

  We must remember that not all the things we see in social media are real. A person can post seemingly happy pictures to create good impression, but that doesn’t mean it’s real. Sometimes, the people with a simpler relationship lasts longer because they don’t care about the rules and expectations of other people.

  We should not limit ourselves and our happiness towards other people’s approval. Because at the end of the day, it’s not them who will define our happiness, it’s us. And real relationships are not defined by the notifications in our phones but the quality time we spend and the genuine happiness we feel when we’re with someone we love.

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