Unsent Letter: To the person who stood as my father

Ace Acero

June 16, 2023

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  This upcoming Father’s Day won’t be the same without you, Lolo.

  It’s already been 2 months since you left our lives. We still haven’t moved on since then; your presence still lingers in the house as if you are still there.

  I will always cherish every moment with you when you were still by our side.

  When you would bring my forgotten belongings to school or prepare a delicious meal of fried rice and noodles for lunch when I return from school. We would eat plenty while the melodic tunes of Gary Lewis and The Playboys filled the air.

  The last most memorable thing that we did together before you got sick was when I took you out for all-you-can-eat wings. We both love chicken, so it was a special treat. We ate as much as we could, and we enjoyed talking about the different flavors of wings we tried.

  Though we have already cleaned your room and removed anything that would remind us of all your struggles and pain, we admit that there was a part within us that believed you deserved every pain and suffering that you endured. It was for not being the man Lola needed for a long time and for not being an overall good father to your two daughters.

  But despite it all, you never left our family. No matter how many times Lola would tell you to leave us because of your inconsistencies, you still didn’t leave. For me, I believe it is either you will never have the same privileges that you experienced in our home, or you love Lola, and you don’t want to leave her. I mostly think of the first most of the time, but lately, I tend to believe both.

  You went through a lot of pain but never spoke of any of your hardships to us once. You were always quiet and preferred to keep it in because that is who you are.

  I still regret to this day not waking up that night and not hearing your last words. All the anger and hatred that we felt towards you washed away in an instant. I haven’t been heartbroken in my life, and now we miss you so much, Lolo.

  You stood up as my father when my mother and Lola were away working. You took care of me since I was 4, and I will always carry my memories of you with my dreams.

  I hope you are now happy and with your Nanay up there. Please always look over us.

  We love you, Lolo. Happy Father’s Day.

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