UNSENT LETTER: This Valentine’s day I’m waiting for you

Penelope

February 9, 2019

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  While everyone’s waiting for what’s in store for them on Valentine’s day, here I am…waiting for you.

  Each day I open my eyes, I’m preparing my heart for you. After all, I know that this day will come. I have anticipated this, and I’ve pictured this in my head. I should not be surprised anymore.

  While everyone’s falling in love this Valentine’s day, I’m waiting for you. I’m waiting for you to leave me behind. Believe me, I’ve been preparing since you came.

  I prepared my heart for the days that you won’t think of me when the morning comes.  I prepared myself for the days that you don’t need me anymore.

  I know I was ready. But when I saw it coming, when I felt that it was taking place, my heart still felt the punch. I was still surprised like I didn’t remind myself everyday that one day you’ll no longer search for my hands when we cross the streets. That one day you will get tired of asking how my day was. That one day all these things that you’ve given me freely will also be taken away from me with a blink of an eye.

  So, this Valentine’s day I’m just waiting for you, love.

  I’m waiting for you to go. I’m waiting for you to let go.

  And it’s okay. I’d rather see you go than to see you stay but unhappy. I’d rather see you leaving me behind than to feel that I will never be enough for you.

  I can take the pain. I just can’t bare to wake up every morning only to fight with you over petty things because we’re unhappy with each other already.

  Love, even if I have to fight a million times and win you in the end, I’ll do it in a heartbeat. But how can I fight if you don’t want to be fought for anymore?

  I’m waiting for you to leave me. Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.

   

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