When It’s Your Love But Not For Eternal

Adi Miguel

February 16, 2016

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  When you come near me and just hold my hands, the butterflies arose and played inside my tummy. They kept on tickling me and I don’t know how to stop them.

  When you lean to my shoulders without saying any word, believe me, my heart is beating its unusual heart beat. But I want to stop the time so you won’t get off of me.

  When you reach for my arms and make me hug you from the back, I experience a little panic inside me. But I calm down when I get to smell your perfume.

  When I lean my head in your arms and voluntarily cuddle me, if I can just say that please don’t stop, I will. I can stay in that position for the rest of that day. I can contain that. What I can’t contain is when you’re away from me.

  When I talk to you about random things and you reach for my hands like it’s a must, truth be told, I just want to hold your hand and bring you wherever I go.

  When we eat or just watch series and act as normal beings, I know we can do that without our legs touching, but we still do. As if being not close disconnects us from each other.

  When you respect the things that I do and the things that I love and you push me to do them, I can’t help but sing, “Oh, I think that I’ve found myself a cheerleader…”

  There are so many things that we do that satisfies our inner soul. There are so many words said for us to feel validated and accepted. But there’s no assurance for us to feel that all these will remain in the next few hours, few days, few weeks, months, and years. We just satisfy the moment. But we don’t know if we’ll stay.

  We keep on acting like more than friends, less than lovers. We keep on giving special attention. And ironically, we know well that we do not deserve second best.

  That’s the thing about temporary happiness, no assurance. If it pops out the next day, thank heavens. And if it don’t, let it go. But maybe, that’s how it really goes. There will always be that one person who feels home to you, who sees your flaws as your strength, who acknowledges your beauty despite your bad hair day, someone who disregards how messed up your life is and holds on to that piece of good in you. You know that he/she is someone you know you can spend a lifetime with. However, there are people made to cross paths but not meant to stay together forever.

  We seize our days and get whatever happiness we can. We love until it hurts. We give until we have none. I think that’s the real essence of love, to almost have none. But you know that it’s real…and true.

   

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