Why You’re So Afraid To Fall Deeply In Love Again

Adi Miguel

January 30, 2018

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  It’s not about work. It’s not because you don’t have time. It’s not because you’re not yet ready for it. It’s not because of any reason you have on your list.

  You’re afraid to love again because you always get uncertainties.

  Yep, you don’t always get the assurance.

  You have asked yourself many times, “When will I be ready for love?” Or “Is love ready for me?”

  But it is true that you’ll never know until we get there. We’ll never know if you are ready until your feet get to stand there. Until you feel those butterflies in your tummy again. You’ll never know if you’re ready until your heart beats unusually again. You’ll never know until you have toughly crossed the bridge and bravely tell yourself, “Here we go again.”

  It takes a leap of faith to admit to yourself that you’re in love again because it will also take so much from you to get yourself ready to be hurt again. Even if you tell yourself that you’ll be better this time, you have no clue how your heart will perform. You’ll never know this love until it shakes hands with you, have coffee with you on midnight, hug you, kiss you good night, and you receive a message the next day. You’ll never know this love until you get to laugh with it on some jokes both of you just get. You’ll never know this love until you have stories you’re the only ones interested. You’ll never know this love until it shares music it hasn’t shared to the world. And the list goes on.

  But one thing is for sure, there’s one thing you know, you don’t want this love to be like the last.

  The last time you were here, you also felt so special; you also had the attention you’ve always wanted; and you were head over heels. But deep within your being, you always ask the universe until when all these things stay? Until when will you wake up with a text message on your phone? Until when will you feel that you are a choice? Until when will you have someone to run to when things mess up? Until when do you have someone to share songs with? Until when will you have someone to laugh with on inside jokes? Until when will you argue with someone where to eat? Until when will you fight over pinky swears that were broken? Until when will this cloud nine feeling be here?

  Because truth be told, it’s so tiring to prepare your heart everyday for the unexpected things. It’s so tiring to get yourself pumped up for the day that someone will just leave without explanation. Or leave because someone was better than you. It’s so tiring to expect the day that you are no longer the choice. It’s so hard to always prepare for the plans B-Z just in case things won’t work out. It’s so hard to fix things before they get broken

  You’re so used with the uncertainties that you know how to ready your heart; that as you wake up, you may lose the person. And you don’t really want to get used to it. But love has made you.

  So, when you get across this question again:

  “Why are you so afraid to fall deeply in love again?”

  Hope you already know the answer.

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